


You Are Forgetting Something Important

by Anathash



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Because they deserved better, Canonical Character Death, Dreams and Nightmares, Father-Son Relationship, Grieving, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 09:52:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14590434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anathash/pseuds/Anathash
Summary: No father should see his child dying.No child should die scared.





	You Are Forgetting Something Important

 

Peter’s robe shines in the bright light of stage reflectors. His hat is tipped to the side even though Tony saw Pepper fixing it moments before. 

He can feel his wife’s grip on his arm as Peter walks onto the stage heading towards the podium. 

His chin is held high, his posture straight even though Tony knows the boy wanted nothing more than to curl into himself. Or maybe Tony will forever see the boy Peter was when they met. He will bat an eye on the fact that he outgrew him, that the stubble on his cheeks could already be a full grown beard and that his inventions began to overshine his long ago. 

Maybe it hurts to much to see him grown.

Or to admit how old he became. 

And as the boy stands before the crowd, his eyes frantically search the room. Their gazes lock and Tony can't help but smile and give him an encouraging nod.

Peter smiles back, it's a nervous smile and Tony remembers mocking that he looks like he swallowed a frog when he does that. It always seems to loosen him up. 

But now a nod is all it takes. Peter clears his throat before going off into a speech that Tony has heard countless times before, back even when it was only an idea. 

And when he sees the kid, all dressed in robes, finishing Tony’s Alma Mater as a Valedictorian, he can't help the overwhelming feeling of pride and sadness that overtakes him.

He remembers when years ago he helped him tie his tie as Peter could barely calm him nerves enough to stop the shaking of his hands. He remembers calming him down and springing into one of his more embarrassing stories only to see the kid crack a smile by the end of it. 

It was a reward in itself, to be able to calm him down. 

He remembers hugging him before letting him go on the stage.

"You are the smartest of them all, don't forget that."

He was. 

Getting into MIT without Tony even pursuing any of his contacts. Not only that but being the one to give the speech in name of every single freshmen.

"You went through worse and you came out victorious."

There is a feeling at the back of his skull, like he is forgetting something, something important. But it doesn't matter now.

"I am proud of you."

He really is proud. 

Everytime he looks at this boy he can't feel anything but pride.

So when he sees Peter give his speech perfectly, nailing all his pauses and not even stumbling once, he can't help the tears that are involuntary falling down his cheeks. 

The hall bursts into claps and cheers, and Tony chokes on his tears before quickly wiping them and joining the ovation. 

This boy, this kid, his kid, had became a man without Tony even realizing it.

"How did I do?"

He asks later, a smile stretching his lips and shining in his eyes. 

Tony doesn't say anything, he just laughs and opens up his arms for a hug. Peter slips in for Tony to wrap his arms around him even though he has to hunch a little to do so now. 

It doesn't matter though. 

Not when Tony pats his back and says:

"I am so proud of you son."

He nearly cries again. 

The feeling is back.

"I don't wanna go."

Tony freezes. 

The buzz of every other student around them suddenly becomes a white noise. 

_ You are forgetting something important. _

"What are you talking about kid? Nobody wants you to go anywhere."

"I don't wanna go."

Suddenly the feel of Peter's silken robes becomes that of metal. 

The pain is back.

"Please. I don't wanna go."

Not the one in his side. 

But the one enveloping him whole. 

Like a tight, tight blanket that keeps choking him, and choking him but never actually does its job.

Like a constant state between agony and death. 

_ You are forgetting something important. _

"I don't wanna go. Please Mister Stark, I don’t wanna go."

The MIT hall is gone. 

The people are gone. 

Instead there is a bright orange sun, that makes Peter's hair nearly red. 

There is rubble that makes the air taste like dust and rust. 

But it's not why he can't breathe.

_ You are forgetting something important. _

"I don't wanna go."

Your son is dying. 

And there is nothing you can do about it. 

Peter slips out of his grasp and Tony does his best to lay him down carefully. But his body is screaming alongside his mind. 

He doesn't know how he can breathe. 

No. 

Please.

"Please I don't wanna go."

Peter's brown eyes are looking at him as he lays on the ground, slowly turning into ash. 

His hands are squeezing him, frantically, as if he was looking for a confirmation that Tony is still there. 

He wants to say something, anything. 

Reassure him that everything is going to be alright. 

Tell him that he is with him. 

That he doesn't have to go. 

That he can stay. 

That all Tony wants is for him to stay. 

But no words come out. 

Not when he looks him in the eyes and all he can see is fright. 

It kills him. 

It's like his heart stops, like his lungs are crushed, like his mind starts to malfunction. 

And all he can do is tighten his grip on Peter’s disappearing body.

"I don't want to go."

_ Please don't let him go.  _

_ Please take me.  _

_ Let him live and take me.  _

No father should see his child dying. 

No child should die scared.

"I am sorry."

And when Peter’s hand turns to ash in his grip, his body quickly following suit as his voice dies down in his throat and his eyes lose their focus, Tony can't help but think that he was all he ever wanted. 

A smart, brilliant boy, too pure and innocent to be his. 

But in a way he was. 

He was his. 

His son. 

And like everything Tony holds dear he too is gone. 

It's his own scream that wakes him up. 

A frantic load sound that turns into a broken sob that doesn't even give him time for a breath.

For a moment he alludes himself.

Thinking that maybe it was all a dream.

Maybe he celebrated Peter's graduation with one too many. 

But the pain in his side suddenly becomes sharper than that of his mind. 

And just like that Tony knows what is real and what’s not. 

He knows that he failed. 

His boy will never finish high-school. 

He will never see him on stage of MIT a diploma in hand. 

He will never see him grow in a man he was to become. 

He will never call him his son. 

All because he was too weak to protect him. 

Long ago, when he first saw his friends arranged in a grotesque pile of corpses, he thought this was the worst thing that could happen to him. 

He was wrong. 

Tony looks at his hands, trembling fingers full of cuts and burns. And all he can see is ash. 

The only thing left after Peter. 

No body left to bury. 

No time to grieve. 

Only a moment of internal hysteria before Nebula shoves him inside of the Guardians’ ship and tells him to take care of his wound. 

He can see himself in those eyes of hers.

The pain is there, loss also. 

And something else. 

Something he can feel growing in himself. 

A single desire. 

A primal need that takes the grief, the panic and the anger with itself, fuel to it’s fire. 

Tony haven't felt this way since his mother died. Like everything is a blur of a constant, sickening headache. 

He barely remembers walking to the cockpit and sitting in one of the seats next to Nebula.

She doesn't seem to acknowledge him. 

Tony just stares into the stars, a beautiful mosaic of colors spread in the void. 

_ Peter would have loved it.  _

A single thought fuels his desire further, spreading like wildfire in his body. He grips the edge of the seat tighter.

"We need to kill him."

It's a spat, a grumble just as hurt as it is angered. 

**Fate is funny like that.**

Nebula turns her attention to him momentarily. There it is, he can see it even more clearly now, that fire of her own. 

**It left to very determined people alive.**

"We will."

**And that will bring Thanos to his end.**

For Peter. 

For his son. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Because quite clearly I am not over Infinity War yet.
> 
> tumblr: anathash.tumblr.com


End file.
